River: We meddle.
River: People don’t like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think. Don’t run, don’t walk. We’re in their homes and in their heads and we haven’t the right. We’re meddlesome.
Dr Methias: But River, she’s a creature of extraordinary grace.
Simon: Yes. She always did love to dance.
The Operative: Where are you hiding, little girl?
Wash: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define “interesting”.
Wash: “Oh god, oh god, we’re all gonna die”?
Mal: This is the Captain, we have a little problem with our entry sequence, se we may have some slight turbulence, and then, explode.
Mal: Just get us on the ground.
Wash: That part’ll happen pretty definitely.
Jayne: We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode.
Mal: Bit of a rockety ride, nothing to get worried about.
Simon: I’m not worried.
Mal: Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, Doctor.
Simon: This isn’t fear. This is anger.
Mal: Well, kind of hard to tell one from t’other, face like yours.
Simon: Well, I imagine that if it were fear, my eyes would be wider.
Mal: Hmm, I’ll keep a lookout for that next time.
River: I know. We’re going for a ride.
Mal: Hey, little one. Understand your part in all this?
River: Do you?
Mal: This is what I do, darlin’. This is what I do.
Kaylee: Have faith, Captain.
Mal: Not today.
Simon: River, stay behind the others. If there’s fighting, drop to the floor or run away. It’s okay to leave them to die.
Mal: Doctor, I’m taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. honestly, there could be tears.
Kaylee: Don’t mind the Captain none, Simon. I know he’ll look out for her. They’ll be back before you can spit. Well, not that you spit.
Jayne: Shiny. Let’s be bad guys.
Mal: I see a head start to rise, violence is going to ensue.
Zoë: Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. You can look it up later.
Mal: Big happy family.
Zoë: At last. We can retire and give up this life of crime.
Mal: Listen up! We are coming down to empty that vault!
Guy: You have to give me your authorisation password!
Mal: The leg is good. It’ll bleed plenty and we avoid any necessary organs.
Guy: I was thinking more of a graze.
Mal: Well, you don’t want it to look like you just gave up.
Guy: No, I get that.
Mal: Every heist he’s gotta start yellin’ my name.
River: I swallowed a bug.
Kaylee: Are you okay?
Mal: Is he okay?
Simon: Oh, one simple job! She’ll be fine!
Mal: She is fine! Except for still being crazy, she’s a picture of health!
River: He didn’t lie down. They never lie down.
Zoë: That was close.
Inara: Kaylee, are you ever going to put that capture down?
Kaylee: We got to have records of everything, Inara. A bona fide Companion entertained clients on this very ship. In this very bed.
Inara: Well, I can’t do my work here. And I don’t think the Captain approves.
Kaylee: The Captain wants you to stay…
Inara: That man doesn’t know what he wants. And I don’t have the time to…
Kaylee: Don’t talk to the barkers, talk to the Captains. You look the Captain in the eye. Know who you’re dealing with.
Simon: I wish there was…
Kaylee: You shouldn’t ought to be so clean. It’s a dead giveaway you don’t belong, you always have to be tidy. Don’t pay anybody in advance. And don’t ride in anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right outta the sky.
Simon: Kaylee. River, do you want to stay with them?
River: It isn’t safe.
Simon: No. I fear it isn’t safe anymore.
River: For them.
Zoë: Captain didn’t make them fugitives.
Kaylee: But he could’a made them family. Instead of keeping Simon from seeing I was there. When I carried such a torch, when we could’ve… Going on a year now, I ain’t had nothing twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries.
Mal: Oh, god! I can’t know that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.
Kaylee: If you had a care for anybody’s heart…
Mal: You knew he was gonna leave. We never been but a way station for those two. And how do you know what he feels? He’s got River to worry on, but he still could’ve shown you… If I truly wanted someone bad enough, wouldn’t be a thing in the ‘verse could stop me from going to her.
Kaylee: Tell that to Inara.
Mal: Fanty. Mingo.
Mingo: He’s Mingo.
Mal: He’s Fanty, you’re Mingo.
Mingo: How is it you always know?
Mal: Fanty’s prettier.
Fanty: Do you know that girl?
Mal: I really don’t.
Mr Universe: Can’t stop the signal, Mal. Everything goes somewhere, and I go everywhere.
Mal: “Miranda”? Go back further
Mr Universe: No.
Mal: Uh, please?
Mr Universe: Mal. You’re very smart. Someone is talking to her.
Wash: The oaty bar?
Mal: Subliminal. It’s a subliminal message, broad waved to trigger her.
River: They’re afraid of me.
Simon: I’m sorry.
River: They should be. But I’ll show them. Oh, God.
Simon: Ssshhh. It’s okay. Hey, it’s okay.
River: Show me off like a dog. Old men covered in blood. It never touched them, but they’re drowning in it. I don’t know what I’m saying. I never know what I’m saying.
Simon: In the Maidenhead, you said something. When you were triggered, do you remember? The Captain saw you say something on the feed.
River: Ask her.
Simon: Who is Miranda? Am… Am I talking to Miranda now? No. Not right. But I uh, I think when they, when they triggered you, it somehow brought this up. This memory.
River: It isn’t mine. The memory, it isn’t mine. And I shouldn’t have to carry it. It isn’t mine. Don’t make me sleep again.
Simon: I won't. I won’t.
River: Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brainpan, squish.
Simon: Don’t. Don’t say that. Not ever. We’ll get through this.
River: Things are going to get much, much worse.
Book: When I talk about belief, why do you always assume I’m talking about God?
Book: They’ll come at you sideways. It’s how they think. It’s how they move. Sidle up and smile. Hit you where you’re weak.
Mal: It’s of interest to me how much you seem to know about that world.
Book: I wasn’t born a Shepherd, Mal.
Mal: Have to tell me about that sometime.
Book: No, I don’t.
Inara: I uh… Is this a bad time?
Mal: No, it’s… as good as any. How’s your world?
Inara: Cold. It’s autumn here.
Mal: Still at the training house? So, what occasions a wave? Not that to see you ain’t… Well, you look very fine.
Inara: Oh. Thank you.
Mal: So, what was the um…
Inara: Oh, I uh, guess we’re having something of a problem here with the locals, and I thought maybe…
Mal: You could use a gun hand?
Inara: I’m hoping not. but uh, if you, uh, happen to be close at all, you… the crew, could take your ease here for a while. And there’s payment.
Mal: Well, it would be, uh… I mean, I’d like to… Kaylee’s been missin’ you something fierce.
Crew: Oh, man!
Inara: I miss her too. I even miss my shuttle occasionally.
Mal: Yeah, you left um… Got some of your stuff in a trunk. I never did get a chance to drop it off.
Inara: Oh, I didn’t, I didn’t mean to leave stuff.
Mal: I didn’t look through the stuff. I just… Just sundries, I expect. So I’ll send you a wave, soon as I can.
Inara: Thank you.
Wash: Inara, Nice to see her again.
Zoë: So, trap?
Zoë: We goin’ in?
Mal: Only but a few hours out.
Wash: Yeah, but, remember the part where it’s a trap?
Mal: If that’s the case, then Inara’s already caught in it. She wouldn’t set us up willing. Might be we got a shot at seeing who’s turning these wheels. We go in.
Kaylee: But how can you be sure Inara don’t just wanna see you? Sometimes people have feeling. I’m referring here to people.
Mal: You all were watching, I take it?
Mal: Did you see us fight?
Mal: Zoë, ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or if you don’t hear from me within the hour, I want you to take this ship, and you come and you rescue me.
Zoë: What? And risk my ship?
Mal: I mean it. It’s cold out there. And I don’t wanna get left.
Mal: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket, and one of those little…
Inara: Mal! What are you doing here?
Mal: Well, you invited me.
Inara: I never thought for a second you’d be stupid enough to come.
Mal: Well, that makes you a tease, doesn’t it?
Inara: You knew my invitation wasn’t on the level.
Mal: Which led me to conclude that you must be in some trouble.
Inara: I’m fine. I’m giddy.
Mal: For a woman schooled in telling a man what he wants to hear, you ain’t much of a liar.
Mal: She is a mite unpredictable. Mood swings, of a sort.
The Operative: It’s worse than you know.
Mal: It usually is.
The Operative: She is an albatross, Captain.
Mal: Way I remember it, albatross was a ship’s good luck, till some idiot killed it. Yes, I’ve read a poem. Try not to faint.
The Operative: You can’t make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.
The Operative: I’m not threatening you. I’m unarmed.
The Operative: I am, of course, wearing full body armour. I am not a moron.
The Operative: Nothing here is what it seems. He isn’t the plucky hero. The Alliance isn’t some evil empire. This is not the grand arena.
Inara: And that’s not incense.
Mal: You wanna run this ship?
Mal: Well… you can’t.
Zoë: You wanna leave this room.
Jayne: Damn right, I do.
Inara: This isn’t the war, Mal.
Mal: You telling me that cause you think I don’t know?
Inara: You came to the Training House looking for a fight.
Mal: I came looking for you.
Inara: I just wanna know who I’m dealing with. I’ve seen too many versions of you to be sure.
Mal: I start fighting a war, I guarantee you’ll see something new.
Simon: We’ll get off. River and I will get off at Haven.
Kaylee: Nobody’s sayin’ that.
Wash: Nobody besides Jayne is saying that.
Mal: I got no answers for you, Inara. I got no rudder. Wind blows north, I go north. That’s who I am. Now maybe that ain’t a man to lead, but they have to follow. So you wanna tear me down, do it inside your own head.
Inara: I’m not trying to tear you down.
Mal: But you fog things up. You always have. You spin me about. I wish like hell you was elsewhere.
Inara: I was.
Mal: The government’s man, he says you’re a danger to us. Not worth helping. Is he right? Are you anything but a weapon? I’ve staked my crew’s life on the theory that you’re a person, actual and whole, and if I’m wrong, you best shoot me now.
River: (Cocks gun.)
Mal: Or we could talk more.
River: I had to show them. I didn’t know if you were gonna make me sleep.
Simon: You could’ve asked.
Mal: Just don’t move.
Book: can’t order me around, boy. I’m not one of your crew.
Mal: Yes, you are.
Mal: Come on! Hey.
Book: I don’t’ care what you believe. Just believe it. Whatever you…
Zoë: Get on the cortex. Wave Li Shen, the Sanchez brothers, anyone who’s ever sheltered us after a heist. Tell them to get out. Get out now!
The Operative: I’m sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault.
Mal: I don’t murder children.
The Operative: I do. If I have to.
Mal: Why? Do you even know why they sent you?
The Operative: It’s not my place to ask. I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin.
Mal: So me and mine gotta die so you can live in you better world.
The Operative: I’m not going to live there. There’s no place for me there, anymore than there is for you. Malcolm, I’m a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it has to be done.
Mal: Keep talking. You’re not getting a location trace off this wave.
The Operative: And every minute you keep River Tam from me, more people will die.
Mal: You think I care?
The Operative: Of course you care. You’re not a reaver, Mal. You’re a human man, and you will never understand how…
Mal: We’re gonna need paint. We’re gonna need red paint.
Kaylee: What are they doing? What’s everybody doing?
Simon: There’s no discolouration. Nobody’s doubled over or showing any signs of pain.
Mal: There’s gases that kill painless, right?
Inara: They didn’t fall. None of them. They just, lay down.
River: Make them stop. They’re everywhere. Every city, every… Every house, every room. They’re all inside me. I can hear them all and they’re saying nothing! Get up. Please, get up. Please, God, make me a stone.
Jayne: She is starting to damage my calm.
Jayne: She’s right. Everybody’s dead. This whole world is dead for no reason.
Wash: Let’s get to the beacon.
Dr Caron: These are just a few of the images we’ve recorded. And you can see… It isn’t what we thought. There’s been no war here, and no terraforming event. The environment is stable. It’s the Pax. The G-23 Paxilon Hydroclorate that we added to the air processors. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression. Well, it works. The people here stopped fighting.
River: [The people here stopped fighting.]
Dr Caron: And then they stopped everything else. They stopped going to work. They stopped breeding, talking, eating. There’s thirty million people here, and they all just let themselves die. I have to be quick. About a tenth of a percent of the population had the opposite reaction to the Pax. Their aggressor response increased beyond madness. They have become… Well, they’ve killed most of us. And not just killed… They’ve done things.
Wash: Reavers. They made them.
Dr Caron: I won’t live to report this, but people have to know. We meant it for the best, to make people safer. God!
Jayne: Turn it off.
River: I’m all right. I’m all right.
Mal: This report is maybe twelve years old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear, because there’s a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They’re gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. Y’all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. so now I’m asking you more than I have before. Maybe all. As sure as I know anything, I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten, they’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people… better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave.
Jayne: Shepherd Book used to tell me “If you can’t do something smart, do something right.”
Zoë: They’re gonna see this coming.
Mal: No, they’re not gonna see this coming.
Mr Universe: No problem. Bring it on, bring it on, bring it on. “From here to the eyes and the ears of the ‘verse.” That’s my motto. Or it might be, if I start having a motto.
The Operative: Target the Reavers. Target the Reavers! Target everyone! Somebody fire!
Wash: I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.
Wash: It’s okay. I’m a leaf on the wind.
Mal: What does that mean?
Mal: No. No.
Wash: I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how…
Zoë: Wash, baby. Baby, no. Baby, come on. You gotta go. Come on. We gotta move. Baby, please. We gotta move. Baby, come on.
Zoë: Come on.
Mal: Zoë! Move out! Now!
Kaylee: Wait, Wash! Where’s Wash?
Zoë: He’s not comin’.
Mal: Zoë? Are you here?
Zoë: Do the job, sir.
Jayne: Captain’s right. We can’t be thinkin’ on revenge if were’ gonna get through this.
Zoë: Do you really think any of us are gonna get through this?
Jayne: I might.
Lenore: Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with his sword. How weird is that? I got a short span here. They destroyed my equipment. But I have a back up unit. Bottom of the complex, right over the generator. Hard to get to. I know they missed it. They can’t stop the signal, Mal. They can never stop the signal.
River: Reavers. They’re all made up of rage.
Simon: It’s okay. It’s okay.
River: I can’t shut them up.
Kaylee: I didn’t plan on going out like this. I think we did this right, but…
Simon: No. I never planned… anything. I just wanted to keep River safe. Spent so much time on Serenity ignoring anything that… I wanted, for myself. My one regret in all of this, is never being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say, as… sex?
Simon: I mean to say.
Kaylee: Hell with this. I’m gonna live.
Mal: “Hard to get to”? That’s a fact.
Mal: You shot me in the back! I haven't made you angry, have I?
The Operative: Do you really believe that?
Mal: I do.
The Operative: You willing to die for that belief?
Mal: I am. Of course that ain’t exactly Plan A.
Zoë: How much ammo do we have?
Jayne: Three, four max, and my swingin’ cod. That’s all.
Kaylee: I’m staring to lose some feeling here.
Simon: Lie still. I’m going to give you something… My bag.
Inara: Keep pressure here.
Simon: My bag. I need… adrenaline, and a shot of, of calaphar for Kaylee. I can’t. I can’t. River. River, I’m sorry.
River: No. No.
Simon: I hate… I hate to leave.
River: You won’t. You take care of me, Simon. You’ve always taken care of me. My turn.
The Operative: Do you know what your sin is, Mal?
Mal: Oh, hell. I’m a fan of all seven. But right now, I’m gonna havta go with wrath.
Mal: Expect you’d want to say your famous last words right now. Just one trouble. I ain’t gonna kill ya. Hell, I’m gonna grant you your greatest wish. I’m gonna show you a world without sin.
Mal: It’s done. Report. River?
Soldier: Do we have a kill order? Do we have an order?
The Operative: Stand down. Stand down. It’s finished. We’re finished.
Zoë: Sir, we have a green light. Inspection’s pos and we’re clear for up-thrust.
Mal: Think she’ll hold together?
Zoë: She’s tore up plenty. But she’ll fly true.
Mal: Make sure everything’s secure. Could be bumpy.
Zoë: Always is.
Mal: Taking her out. Should be about a day’s ride to get you back to your girls.
Mal: Ready to get off this heap, and back to civilized life?
Inara: I uh, I don’t know.
Mal: Good answer.
Mal: So, you gonna ride shotgun with me? Help me fly?
River: That’s the plan.
Mal: Think you can work out… Okay. Clearly some aptitude for the… It ain’t all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flying is? Will, I suppose you do, since you already know what I’m about to say.
River: I do. But I like to hear you say it.
Mal: Love. You can learn all the math in the ‘verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down, tells you she’s hurtin’ ‘fore she keens. Makes her a home.
River: Storm’s getting worse.
Mal: We’ll pass through it soon enough.
Mal: What was that?
Extended Lilac Entrance
Mal: Ready to go to work, darlin’?
River: There’s no pattern to the pebbles here. Completely random. I tried to count them but you drove too fast. Hummingbird.
Mal: Right. Great. Let’s go.
Inara & Sheydra
Sheydra: You’ve seen so much. You’re a figure of great romance to them.
Inara: Great romance has nothing to do with being a Companion, Sheydra. You should know that.
Sheydra: I’m not the one who had a torrid affair with a pirate.
Inara: A who? With a what?
Sheydra: It’s the talk of the house. The girls all trade stories in the dorms at night.
Inara: I didn’t have a pirate.
Sheydra: In one of the stories, you made love in a burning temple. I think that’s my favourite.
Inara: This is unbearable. Captain Reynolds is no pirate. He’s, well, he’s a petty thief. And he never laid a finger on me. All he ever did was rent me a shuttle, and be very annoying.
Sheydra: Don’t worry. The stories will fade. And your Captain Reynolds has probably gotten himself blown up by this time.
Extended Haven Opening
Book: Lord, I’m walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore, my clothes are ragged. Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all. Forgive what you can and send me on my path. I will walk on till you bid me rest.
Escape from Companion Training House
Inara: What have you done to my shuttle?
Mal: It’s not your shuttle.
Inara: Hang on to something.
Mal: You sure you remember how to…
Inara: I told you to hang on.
Mal: I’m fine.
Mal & Inara Shuttle Chase
Inara: Where are we going?
Mal: Serenity’s east of us, nestled in the low ranges.
Inara: Mal, don’t take this the wrong way, but in your next life I hope you come back as a polyp.
Mal: Is that good?
Mal & Inara Quiet Moment
Mal: Didn’t see you. Anything of use in there?
Mal: You don’t have to stay in the shuttle, you know? There’s empty rooms if you want to sleep a while.
Inara: Think anyone’s set to sleep? Simon’s portioning out overdoses of morphine, just in case.
Mal: Cheerful fellow. Did you really miss this place?
Inara: Sometimes. Not so much right now.
Mal: Why did you leave?
Inara: Why didn’t you ask me not to?
Mal: I, uh, I better go check on the crew. See how the inevitable mutiny’s coming along.
Extended Mal & Operative Coda
Mal: What a whiner.
Nathan: I’m on TV.
Joss: It’s a movie.
Nathan: Are you taping?
Nathan: Hey, what are you guys doin’? Makin’ out?
Alan: Blow it, Captain.
Jewel: Cap’n. Cap’n
Nathan: Look out, Chaz!
Nathan: God damn it. This one’s locked.
Nathan: My cartridge fell out of my gun.
Gina: Sir, are you sure you don’t want me to… dance the Macarena, or something? What…
Nathan: Are you gonna say something?
Alan: My favourite word.
Nathan: Whoa. You see that, right? You see it? See that? Would you turn? Would you turn?
Alan: Do you want to fly this thing?
Nathan: Do you want me… Would you pull over? Is that what you thought we were doing?
Alan: I will pull over this spaceship.
Nathan: Christ Almighty. I could shit my pants today.
Alan: Damn it, I don’t need a back spaceship driver!
Nathan: GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!
Alan: Christ. That’s it. Fine. You want to fly? Fuckin’ fly! I’ll be in my bunk.
Nathan: What does he have this set for?
Nathan: What aren’t you doing?
Nathan: Fuck, Summer.
Summer: I didn’t know…
Joss: And cut.
Morena: Where are we headed?
Nathan: Serenity’s east of us, nestled in the lowlands. Rats.
Morena: Where are we headed?
Nathan: Serenity’s east of us, nestled in the… (mumbles) Hang a left.
Nathan: We get to Haven in new, new-fowers? How? Few hours time.
Nathan: You all were listening in, I take? You all were watching, I take it?
Nathan: Did you see us fight?
Nathan: TRAP!!! Can I do that last one again?
Nathan: You knew he was gonna leave. We’ve never been but a weigh-in station for those two and… Don’t fuckin’ tell me what to goddamn do. My ship!
Jewel: What to goddamn do?
Nathan: I’m sorry. Um, what’s my line?
Nathan: Ready to get off this garbage heap and go back to your civilized life?
Morena: I, um… You fucked up.
Nathan: I’ve seen so much death.
Nathan: Get these bodies together.
Gina: We got enough time for grave digging’?
Nathan: Zoë. You and Simon are going to rope them together, five or six of them. I want them laid out on the nose of the ship.
Sean: Are you insane?
Nathan: Put Book front and centre, he’s our friend. We should honour him. Kaylee, find that kid who’s taking a dirt nap with baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne, try not to steal too much of their shit!
Alan: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by the ninety year-old man. Man boobs. Oh, man.
Alan: Watch me soar.
Alan: Or, “Watch how I soar” is actually the line.
Alan: They just float out there, sending reaving, raving… reading parties.
Joss: God dang it.
Jewel: I can rig ‘em so they won’t re-open once they close.
Nathan: Then you shut ‘em and you hide until I get there.
Gina: We have to… shit.
Nathan: There’s a bathroom as we were coming in.
Gina: Right now, we have to shit.
Gina: At last, we can retire and give up this… fuckin’ fuck. I sound like you.
Comment if you want me to transcribe anything else, I'd be most happy to.